Do not be fooled by the title of this blog. Robbie is very good with scissors. His fine and gross motor skills have developed well and he can cut things easily. The trouble is....... you never know what he will decide to cut. His hair, his t-shirts, his sister's favorite beaded bracelet, 10- ok 15- ice pops in an hour, I-pad charger cords, or a small model sailing ship from the vacation house my parents so graciously paid for ( Sorry Gama, he just had to cut all the sails off and put them in a pile.) This is unlike his sister, who has only dared to cut the hair of a Barbie doll, after her older cousin telling her it was a good idea. ( A right of passage, haven't we all done that?) For this reason, we hide scissors, although being as resourceful as he is- he always seems to find a pair.
Another difference between my 3rd grader with Autism and my neurotypical 1st grader is the back to school shopping list. In Robbie's class this year they are going to work on personal hygiene. Along with pencils, notebooks and folders they have added deodorant, hair brush and toothbrush. Robbie has always been pretty good about brushing his teeth and hair. These are things we have put into his picture schedule.
On another topic language has definitely blossomed over the past year. Robbie has been articulating his thoughts much more regularly. At times you can tell he is frustrated because the words don't always come out as easily as he'd like, but it is improving. For example the other morning Robbie asked where the white car is? (Rob has a white truck that we had swapped to use his brother's larger black truck for our vacation travels.) I asked if he was referring to Dad's white truck. He responded by saying- "It's like Power On." This is what the truck says when you start it up. The phrase "it's like" has been used frequently. He'll say a robot and the "it's like beep bop beep" and make robotic movements. It's a great way to communicate.
Lastly, the same issues arise with the stimming and lack of attention span. We went to a new karate session last weekend- yes trying it again. The instructor is a new ABA therapist that comes to our home 2 days a week to work with Robbie. He is running a special needs class in the fall and asked us to come by a few weeks before that begin to make sure Robbie is comfortable with the environment. I had a hard time explaining to Robbie where we were going. I didn't want to confuse him with pictures of karate in fear that he'd assume we were going to the old class where he was over whelmed. I mentioned "Mr. Mike" who is his behaviorist. His immediate response was "No Mr. Mike, No Miss Yvette" ( his other behaviorist). Nothing personal here- he simply did not want to "work" on a Saturday. I completely understood. Still, we managed to get him in the car after switching from crocs to sneakers and sneakers to crocs- at least twice. ( The indecision is another challenge that seems to occur when he feels overwhelmed.) The ride to karate was uneventful as Lexi was also with us. Once we got to the location Robbie did not want to go in. We sat at a table outside and I gave him the doritos and capri sun I had stashed in my purse as a bribe/ reward. Mr. Mike came out and asked the kids to some check it out. Lexi went right in- no fear. Robbie took his time but did follow her lead. Lexi followed Mr. Mike's direction, mimicking the appropriate kicks and punches. The look of shear concentration on her face. Robbie jumped, flapped, spun around and said "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" a million times. He was really excited but also could not focus on the task at hand. I believe his own reflection in the mirror was most distracting as he was checking himself out. Still Mr. Mike plowed through and did get him to do a few kicks. The question is for $80 a month do we continue? It's hard to know if Robbie truly enjoyed it or was too overwhelmed.I am not sure. Time will tell.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Amazing and so very scary
We are at a crossroad. It is so awesome and so scary at the same time. My 8 year old son wants to make friends. He wants social interaction. For a child like Robbie- this is HUGE! This is also very scary. Robbie is socially akward with most kids his own age. His speech can sound a bit robotic and then there is the stimming. At a party I did try to help Robbie engage with another special needs child. Robbie showed him the toys he had been playing with. The little boy didn't say anything and walked off. Robbie said "I guess he didn't want them" and moved on. Bravo Robbie, for making the connection that he did not want to play and not getting upset by it. A party guest, who had not seen Robbie in a long time mentioned how much he has grown and developed. He spoke of the first time he met Robbie. Robbie was standing in front of a large fish tank staring. Not really at the fish, just staring and hard to engage. Now a few years later he will make eye contact and has the ability to engage in back and forth dialogue. It feels like it took forever and it feels like time flew by.
Later the same night we ran into another family with a special needs boy who Robbie used to play with. They were happy to see each other and Robbie gave him a big hug. They played on a swing set and ran around for a bit. It was awesome. Now both situations were with other special needs children, those who are "safe." We recently took a trip to the library. Robbie wanted to go. Movies are the first thing he goes for and books are second. He was his usually stimmy self. Jumping, flapping, hand wringing , saying "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." There were 2 other children around his age. They stared. They looked slightly horrified. I was sad to see that. So happy that Robbie had asked to go to the library. Many times we opt to avoid social situations with Robbie. I know it is time to get out there more often. I know many times there will be stares and whispers. I also know you really don't know until you try. Robbie is ready. I am ready. So to all our friends and neighbors- get ready to hear "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
Later the same night we ran into another family with a special needs boy who Robbie used to play with. They were happy to see each other and Robbie gave him a big hug. They played on a swing set and ran around for a bit. It was awesome. Now both situations were with other special needs children, those who are "safe." We recently took a trip to the library. Robbie wanted to go. Movies are the first thing he goes for and books are second. He was his usually stimmy self. Jumping, flapping, hand wringing , saying "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." There were 2 other children around his age. They stared. They looked slightly horrified. I was sad to see that. So happy that Robbie had asked to go to the library. Many times we opt to avoid social situations with Robbie. I know it is time to get out there more often. I know many times there will be stares and whispers. I also know you really don't know until you try. Robbie is ready. I am ready. So to all our friends and neighbors- get ready to hear "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Happy Tears and the Stimmmm
I have made a few unsuccessful attempts of getting video clips of Robbie while he is in "super stimm mode." The reason I am unsuccessful is the minute he notices that I have a camera in hand- he immediately poses and says "cheese." The next statement is " let me see the picture." Interesting that he can stop the stimming behavior so quickly but also can't seem to control it as well. The stimming has been out of control for the past week or so. Jumping, hand flapping, hand wringing, eyes twitching, repeating "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
all simultaneously. Additionally we are once again engaged in episodes of The Backyardigans and scripting episode after episode, again and again. At home we have done a lot of deep breathing, "hands down", swinging and spinning in his indoor swing, swinging outside and swimming.
The swimming brings me to an incident at the lake. I watched as Robbie swam towards a group of older kids. They were splashing each other and swimming around in the water. Robbie sidled up to them and watched for a minute. Then, he began to splash the kids as well. Sure that is would end in disaster I asked Rob to keep a close eye on him as I had the baby crawling deeper, deeper and deeper into the water- not realizing he can not yet swim. ( He thinks he is a big kid like his siblings, but he is just hitting 1 years old.) Rob decided to swim out to where Robbie was and after exchanging a few words came back over toward the beach. I gave the thumbs up and got the same in return. After talking to a few people at the beach Rob returned to explain that he had explained Robbie has Autism to the older kids and reminded Robbie he needed to introduce himself when he met new people. Rob had also thanked the parents of the kids for their response. The kids were welcoming. Three young teens, 2 boys and a girl, were kind. They included Robbie as they splashed at each other. Robbie was engaged and played in a way I have rarely, if ever seen , especially in a group of strangers. I wanted to cry- happy tears - because this was such a huge step. Social interaction is an enormous hurdle for him. We have tried social skills classes and play dates with classmates- some of which were mildly successful. To see him happy, engaged and playing with other kids.........................happy tears!!!!!!
all simultaneously. Additionally we are once again engaged in episodes of The Backyardigans and scripting episode after episode, again and again. At home we have done a lot of deep breathing, "hands down", swinging and spinning in his indoor swing, swinging outside and swimming.
The swimming brings me to an incident at the lake. I watched as Robbie swam towards a group of older kids. They were splashing each other and swimming around in the water. Robbie sidled up to them and watched for a minute. Then, he began to splash the kids as well. Sure that is would end in disaster I asked Rob to keep a close eye on him as I had the baby crawling deeper, deeper and deeper into the water- not realizing he can not yet swim. ( He thinks he is a big kid like his siblings, but he is just hitting 1 years old.) Rob decided to swim out to where Robbie was and after exchanging a few words came back over toward the beach. I gave the thumbs up and got the same in return. After talking to a few people at the beach Rob returned to explain that he had explained Robbie has Autism to the older kids and reminded Robbie he needed to introduce himself when he met new people. Rob had also thanked the parents of the kids for their response. The kids were welcoming. Three young teens, 2 boys and a girl, were kind. They included Robbie as they splashed at each other. Robbie was engaged and played in a way I have rarely, if ever seen , especially in a group of strangers. I wanted to cry- happy tears - because this was such a huge step. Social interaction is an enormous hurdle for him. We have tried social skills classes and play dates with classmates- some of which were mildly successful. To see him happy, engaged and playing with other kids.........................happy tears!!!!!!
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Pity party for one
I love my son. Here is where it gets hard. Sometimes I feel resentful. I feel sad. I feel angry. Never at him. Honestly- never at him. I may get really, really frustrated with him, but I never feel resentful towards him. Sometimes I feel resentful towards you. Those who have not dealt with autism and don't really understand it. Those who try to understand it- but just don't. Because , how could you? You don't know. We all worry about our children. I worry about all three. I worry the most, about Robbie.
My poor brother felt my wrath late last night. He asked how we handle certain situations and gave a suggestion regarding something else to try. I think I may have said- a little too harshly- yes we have tried that. The truth is- I can say with almost 100% accuracy- we've tried it- but I do welcome new ideas and suggestions. Unfortunately for him, I was in the middle of a pity party for one. A few weeks ago an acquaintance was explaining how he had a friend who has a child on the spectrum and this friend may have a good neurologist referral- or other good information. I honestly always welcome any advice, referrals, information- etc. When he sent me the information a few days later- I felt a combination of self righteousness and sadness. The referrals were doctors or places we've already used. Once you hear the words- Autism spectrum disorder- or probably any disorder, as a parent you dive in head first. You read every book, article etc. You reach out to those who are dealing with it. You join 15 different online support groups- because really , who has time to go to one in person. You try diets. You try different doctors, different therapies. Then you pause. You cry. You reassess what has worked and what has not. You reengage and try it all over again. You get mad. You get mad at strangers who look at you with pity. You get mad at friends and relatives who love you and try their best to give advice. The truth is- no one knows what to say or do. The truth is we all have our life stressors, issues, problems, baggage etc. The truth is everyone's "stuff" is just as important and difficult. So to all my friends and family- thank you for all your words of wisdom and hugs of support. Sometimes I need to pause, take a breathe and remember how lucky I am. And to my brother, sister, my husband and all those close to me- thank you for listening. xo
My poor brother felt my wrath late last night. He asked how we handle certain situations and gave a suggestion regarding something else to try. I think I may have said- a little too harshly- yes we have tried that. The truth is- I can say with almost 100% accuracy- we've tried it- but I do welcome new ideas and suggestions. Unfortunately for him, I was in the middle of a pity party for one. A few weeks ago an acquaintance was explaining how he had a friend who has a child on the spectrum and this friend may have a good neurologist referral- or other good information. I honestly always welcome any advice, referrals, information- etc. When he sent me the information a few days later- I felt a combination of self righteousness and sadness. The referrals were doctors or places we've already used. Once you hear the words- Autism spectrum disorder- or probably any disorder, as a parent you dive in head first. You read every book, article etc. You reach out to those who are dealing with it. You join 15 different online support groups- because really , who has time to go to one in person. You try diets. You try different doctors, different therapies. Then you pause. You cry. You reassess what has worked and what has not. You reengage and try it all over again. You get mad. You get mad at strangers who look at you with pity. You get mad at friends and relatives who love you and try their best to give advice. The truth is- no one knows what to say or do. The truth is we all have our life stressors, issues, problems, baggage etc. The truth is everyone's "stuff" is just as important and difficult. So to all my friends and family- thank you for all your words of wisdom and hugs of support. Sometimes I need to pause, take a breathe and remember how lucky I am. And to my brother, sister, my husband and all those close to me- thank you for listening. xo
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
A little reminder to myself
To be honest, the last few weeks have really been wearing on me. Robbie's behavior is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. Every comment is 5 decimals too loud. Every time he hears no or is redirected there is screaming and sometimes hitting. Hitting could involve the wall, an object or a person (me). The stimming behaviors are constant. Running back and forth saying "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." Scripting movie lines, a sentence from one and the right into another. The constant destruction of property. Emptying all the hand soap containers and refilling them with water. Pouring water in the ice cube container so they all freeze together. Pouring orange juice in his crocks and then walking through my in-laws rental property. ( which meant scrubbing carpets on hands and knees.)The only things that help are swim time and Dad putting Robbie in time out. Even then, he is down right nasty a lot of the time. We recently had a burst of language and when that happens behavior problems seem to trail behind. As Robbie gets bigger, so do his behaviors. I have to remind myself that while he has the body of an 8 year old, he has the emotional and social ability of someone much younger.
I have also noticed his increased frustration on a daily basis at just about everything. He talks with an angry tone and has been yelling at everyone and no one. While at the lake this week he was talking in his angry voice to himself and it seemed to everyone around him. A little girl ran by just as he was at the peak of this performance. She stopped, kicked water in his face, and ran away. Lexi, after witnessing this, came running up to me to tell me what the girl had done. I wasn't angry with this little girl. Robbie was being inappropriate. Perhaps I should have gotten angry and pulled her aside to explain what was going on. Robbie didn't seem phased at all by a little water in the face and continued with his ranting. I know part of his frustration stems from not being able to connect with other children. He clings to Lexi, who at this point is searching out friends of her own. He is so very aware of what's going on around him, what's being said around him, or about him. Recently he told me "that's not nice." When I asked why, eventually I determined he did not like me talking about him. Fair enough. I hate when others do it as well, and shame on me, I know better. At dinner I asked him if he was with me, present. He responded by saying "I'm trying Mommy." This I know to be true. He is trying really hard. I shared a picture a friend put on Facebook- "My child is not giving me a hard time. My child is having a hard time." A good reminder for myself. For Robbie every day is really hard. For me, some days are just harder than others.
I have also noticed his increased frustration on a daily basis at just about everything. He talks with an angry tone and has been yelling at everyone and no one. While at the lake this week he was talking in his angry voice to himself and it seemed to everyone around him. A little girl ran by just as he was at the peak of this performance. She stopped, kicked water in his face, and ran away. Lexi, after witnessing this, came running up to me to tell me what the girl had done. I wasn't angry with this little girl. Robbie was being inappropriate. Perhaps I should have gotten angry and pulled her aside to explain what was going on. Robbie didn't seem phased at all by a little water in the face and continued with his ranting. I know part of his frustration stems from not being able to connect with other children. He clings to Lexi, who at this point is searching out friends of her own. He is so very aware of what's going on around him, what's being said around him, or about him. Recently he told me "that's not nice." When I asked why, eventually I determined he did not like me talking about him. Fair enough. I hate when others do it as well, and shame on me, I know better. At dinner I asked him if he was with me, present. He responded by saying "I'm trying Mommy." This I know to be true. He is trying really hard. I shared a picture a friend put on Facebook- "My child is not giving me a hard time. My child is having a hard time." A good reminder for myself. For Robbie every day is really hard. For me, some days are just harder than others.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Quit you're whining............and give yourself a break :)
I have recently joined many different online Autism support groups. As I read some of the posts, I feel frustrated for many of the parents posting. So many of the complaints are members talking about the difficultly of their 3 years old with potty training, or their 2 and a half year old being out in public places. I know many, many people with Nero-typical children who struggle with potty training-at much older ages and most people who struggle with toddlers in public settings for any length of time. No one said raising children would be easy. Many of us- myself included, did not realize how difficult it could be.
Lexi was in a pull up at night time until a few months ago - at age 5. Many of her friends are still in pull ups at night. As one friend said the other day- there is a reason they make them in those sizes. Robbie was not fully potty trained until age 5 and had a pull up at night until 7 and a half. At that point, he did not want to wear a pull up. Fortunately, he was able to tell me. I think many times, we as parents are in a rush. We want results. That is how we have been programed. Parents- give yourself a break. It will happen.
Recently we have been dealing with increased aggression and extremely high anxiety. This means Robbie will have an angry voice and hit or kick things to show he is unhappy. Additionally , every request is responded to with yelling and extreme anxiety. For example- Robbie would you some waffles for breakfast? The response is a very loud "NOOOOOOOOO, Mommy!!!!! I am not hungry. No waffles!!!!! No waffles!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Only to hear " Mommy can I have some waffles?" a few minutes later. It's as if it takes that long for Robbie to process the information. This morning I asked Robbie if he wanted a banana- by showing him the fruit as I asked. His immediate answer was "Nooooooo!!!! No banana!! " Pause.... "Banana? No, Apple." just as I was washing one for he restated his request. " No apple, apple juice. I want apple juice." It was a reminder to me of how frustrating life must be for him. Sometimes he just can't get the request out at all and may be given something he does not want, with the inability to ask for what he truly desires. UGH, Can you imagine? Now , imagine this type of response for every question or request. Some days showers are met with the same anxiety and volume- others they are welcomed, as water has always been his happy place.
I am not going to pretend that life with Autism is easy. It is not. It is difficult. It is stressful. It is exhausting. But sometimes so is raising children overall. It is also wonderful. It is rewarding. It is the most important thing you can do. Life has ups and downs. Honestly some days are great and others make you want to crawl back under the covers. But again- Parents- give yourself a break! This is a marathon, not a sprint!
Lexi was in a pull up at night time until a few months ago - at age 5. Many of her friends are still in pull ups at night. As one friend said the other day- there is a reason they make them in those sizes. Robbie was not fully potty trained until age 5 and had a pull up at night until 7 and a half. At that point, he did not want to wear a pull up. Fortunately, he was able to tell me. I think many times, we as parents are in a rush. We want results. That is how we have been programed. Parents- give yourself a break. It will happen.
Recently we have been dealing with increased aggression and extremely high anxiety. This means Robbie will have an angry voice and hit or kick things to show he is unhappy. Additionally , every request is responded to with yelling and extreme anxiety. For example- Robbie would you some waffles for breakfast? The response is a very loud "NOOOOOOOOO, Mommy!!!!! I am not hungry. No waffles!!!!! No waffles!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Only to hear " Mommy can I have some waffles?" a few minutes later. It's as if it takes that long for Robbie to process the information. This morning I asked Robbie if he wanted a banana- by showing him the fruit as I asked. His immediate answer was "Nooooooo!!!! No banana!! " Pause.... "Banana? No, Apple." just as I was washing one for he restated his request. " No apple, apple juice. I want apple juice." It was a reminder to me of how frustrating life must be for him. Sometimes he just can't get the request out at all and may be given something he does not want, with the inability to ask for what he truly desires. UGH, Can you imagine? Now , imagine this type of response for every question or request. Some days showers are met with the same anxiety and volume- others they are welcomed, as water has always been his happy place.
I am not going to pretend that life with Autism is easy. It is not. It is difficult. It is stressful. It is exhausting. But sometimes so is raising children overall. It is also wonderful. It is rewarding. It is the most important thing you can do. Life has ups and downs. Honestly some days are great and others make you want to crawl back under the covers. But again- Parents- give yourself a break! This is a marathon, not a sprint!
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Why is Robbie different?
I knew it would happen. One day Lexi would ask why. Why is Robbie different? Why does Robbie have Autism? We have always been very open with Lexi about Autism, what it is and how it affects Robbie. However, I never wanted any of these conversations to hurt Robbie's feelings. Last night at dinner Lexi said " I hope Timmy does NOT have autism." Honestly- I may have said " me too" or just nodded my head. I caught myself and looked at Robbie- who covered his ears and put his head down. My heart broke. We hurt his feelings.
Later, I told Lexi that she can always talk to me or Daddy about Autism but we have to be careful not to hurt Robbie's feelings. She responded by saying- he didn't cry- so his feelings were not hurt. Such a tough concept for a 5 year old. The conversation continued with Lexi asking why Robbie is different, like the boys in her class with down syndrome. Why do we have to have Ms. Yevette ( Robbie's ABA therapist) over all the time? Why can't he be normal? Different is hard for me. I don't like different. Why can't he be like me... and Timmy? I reminded her about how much she loves her big brother. How much we all love him.
Toni Braxton- famous singer- who has a son on the spectrum was quoted as saying God punished her for having an abortion. The punishment was a child with Autism. How sad for her to feel that way. There has been a lot of discussion about her comments and while she was once a voice for Autism speaks, I hope she is no longer. Robbie is a gift. He is loved and I am thankful for him. However I will say - again, as I have posted this opinion- Autism does not define who Robbie is. It is a disability. If I could remove it- I would. Autism makes life harder for my son. He is funny and smart- and sometimes hard to understand. Sometimes he does not feel comfortable in his own skin. Someday, people will be cruel.
Recently a friend asked me how other kids treated Robbie- if they were accepting or excluding.. Again- a comment or question from a friend that took me by surprise.( And- again- as I write this blog, my hope is understanding.) The comment made me think- one of the many reasons I love the program Robbie is in is because he is safe. He is surrounded by those who understand. His classmates are on the spectrum. There is plenty of support staff. The school offers social skills- to - in my opinion- allow the "regular" kids an opportunity to interact with those on the spectrum. Those they see every day, walking down the halls, using the same bathrooms, and sharing a lunch and assembly with. I fear a time where Robbie is forced back into his district school- where there is no place for him. Where he is the only one. Where he is excluded. Where I may lose my cool if he not treated kindly.
As I write this- Lexi has looked over my shoulder asking about the contents on the page. She sees her name- multiple time- and popcorn words. I wonder if Robbie sees his name- and words he can recognize. He can not tell me- yet. He is 8 years old. Lexi can- she is 5.
While there has been much progression for Robbie in terms of language and communication, it can still be a challenge. Pictures are still helpful. Many times Robbie responds without really hearing what has been said. This morning Robbie had taken a bunch of loose change from a cup and put it into small ziplock bags. I told him he could keep the money but asked that he keep it far away from Timmy. Timmy is still at the age where he puts everything in his mouth. The response I got was yelling no and him throwing the bags all over the floor. Exactly what I did not want to happen. Honestly, I don't think he understood my request. He assumed he was in trouble for taking the money and putting it into bags. ( He has gotten in trouble before for taking multiple items and placing them in multiple baggies. It is wasteful and honestly, annoying because I end up having to put all the items back in their place and throwing away piles of baggies.) These types of exchanges are common. There is a lot of yelling- from Robbie and a bit of frustration at times from the rest of us.
Overall I am reminded to slow down. Take a deep breathe. Explain things more clearly to Robbie and remind Lexi that different is not bad. Different makes life interesting. What kind of world would we have if we were all exactly the same?? Boring!!!!!
Later, I told Lexi that she can always talk to me or Daddy about Autism but we have to be careful not to hurt Robbie's feelings. She responded by saying- he didn't cry- so his feelings were not hurt. Such a tough concept for a 5 year old. The conversation continued with Lexi asking why Robbie is different, like the boys in her class with down syndrome. Why do we have to have Ms. Yevette ( Robbie's ABA therapist) over all the time? Why can't he be normal? Different is hard for me. I don't like different. Why can't he be like me... and Timmy? I reminded her about how much she loves her big brother. How much we all love him.
Toni Braxton- famous singer- who has a son on the spectrum was quoted as saying God punished her for having an abortion. The punishment was a child with Autism. How sad for her to feel that way. There has been a lot of discussion about her comments and while she was once a voice for Autism speaks, I hope she is no longer. Robbie is a gift. He is loved and I am thankful for him. However I will say - again, as I have posted this opinion- Autism does not define who Robbie is. It is a disability. If I could remove it- I would. Autism makes life harder for my son. He is funny and smart- and sometimes hard to understand. Sometimes he does not feel comfortable in his own skin. Someday, people will be cruel.
Recently a friend asked me how other kids treated Robbie- if they were accepting or excluding.. Again- a comment or question from a friend that took me by surprise.( And- again- as I write this blog, my hope is understanding.) The comment made me think- one of the many reasons I love the program Robbie is in is because he is safe. He is surrounded by those who understand. His classmates are on the spectrum. There is plenty of support staff. The school offers social skills- to - in my opinion- allow the "regular" kids an opportunity to interact with those on the spectrum. Those they see every day, walking down the halls, using the same bathrooms, and sharing a lunch and assembly with. I fear a time where Robbie is forced back into his district school- where there is no place for him. Where he is the only one. Where he is excluded. Where I may lose my cool if he not treated kindly.
As I write this- Lexi has looked over my shoulder asking about the contents on the page. She sees her name- multiple time- and popcorn words. I wonder if Robbie sees his name- and words he can recognize. He can not tell me- yet. He is 8 years old. Lexi can- she is 5.
While there has been much progression for Robbie in terms of language and communication, it can still be a challenge. Pictures are still helpful. Many times Robbie responds without really hearing what has been said. This morning Robbie had taken a bunch of loose change from a cup and put it into small ziplock bags. I told him he could keep the money but asked that he keep it far away from Timmy. Timmy is still at the age where he puts everything in his mouth. The response I got was yelling no and him throwing the bags all over the floor. Exactly what I did not want to happen. Honestly, I don't think he understood my request. He assumed he was in trouble for taking the money and putting it into bags. ( He has gotten in trouble before for taking multiple items and placing them in multiple baggies. It is wasteful and honestly, annoying because I end up having to put all the items back in their place and throwing away piles of baggies.) These types of exchanges are common. There is a lot of yelling- from Robbie and a bit of frustration at times from the rest of us.
Overall I am reminded to slow down. Take a deep breathe. Explain things more clearly to Robbie and remind Lexi that different is not bad. Different makes life interesting. What kind of world would we have if we were all exactly the same?? Boring!!!!!
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