Quit you're whining............and give yourself a break :)

I have recently joined many different online Autism support groups.  As I read some of the posts, I feel frustrated for many of the parents posting.  So many of the complaints are members talking about the difficultly of their 3 years old with potty training, or their 2 and a half year old being out in public places. I know many, many people with Nero-typical children who struggle with potty training-at much older ages and most people who struggle with toddlers in public settings for any length of time. No one said raising children would be easy. Many of us- myself included, did not realize how difficult it could be.
Lexi was in a pull up at night time until a few months ago - at age 5. Many of her friends are still in pull ups at night. As one friend said the other day- there is a reason they make them in those sizes.  Robbie was not fully potty trained until age 5 and had a pull up at night until 7 and a half. At that point, he did not want to wear a pull up. Fortunately,  he was able to tell me.  I think many times, we as parents are in a rush. We want results. That is how we have been programed. Parents- give yourself a break. It will happen.

Recently we have been dealing with increased aggression and extremely high anxiety. This means Robbie will have an angry voice and hit or kick things to show he is unhappy. Additionally , every request is responded to with yelling and extreme anxiety. For example- Robbie would you some waffles for breakfast? The response is a very loud "NOOOOOOOOO, Mommy!!!!! I am not hungry. No waffles!!!!! No waffles!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Only to hear " Mommy can I have some waffles?" a few minutes later. It's as if it takes that long for Robbie to process the information. This morning I asked Robbie if he wanted a banana- by showing him the fruit as I asked. His immediate answer was "Nooooooo!!!! No banana!! " Pause.... "Banana?  No, Apple." just as I was washing one for he restated his request. " No apple, apple juice. I want apple juice." It was a reminder to me of how frustrating life must be for him. Sometimes he just can't get the request out at all and may be given something he does not want, with the inability to ask for what he truly desires. UGH, Can you imagine?  Now , imagine this type of response for every question or request.  Some days showers are met with the same anxiety and volume- others  they are welcomed, as water has always been his happy place.
I am not going to pretend that life with Autism is easy. It is not. It is difficult. It is stressful. It is exhausting. But sometimes so is raising children overall.  It is also wonderful. It is rewarding. It is the most important thing you can do.  Life has ups and downs.  Honestly some days are great and others make you want to crawl back under the covers. But again- Parents- give yourself a break! This is a marathon, not a sprint!