I've got you...............

Anxiety is a huge hurtle for many of those on the spectrum. Robbie is definitely no exception. We have tried many anti anxiety medications- none of which seem to help. Late last night after being woken again to "Mommy I'm scared" and responding with a big hug and the reassurance that I am there and I've got him, I began to write this blog in my head- as I do many late nights.  The new medication we have been giving Robbie- he won't take. We have tried liquid- mixing with apple sauce and even ice cream. He seems to notice it- and then pushes it away. We've tried tablet form- crushing it into juice with his other medication. He will not drink it. He points to the medications bottle and says- "No that one."- even when he doesn't see me put it in his apple juice. Amazing sense of taste.
As I contemplate the phone conversation I will have with his pediatric neurological nurse practioner, I open my emails. There it is, the Autism blog that I read religiously. The topic is anxiety. It explains through the voice of someone on the spectrum how much anxiety they feel every single day, from the moment they wake in the morning, even in their own homes. It also talks about the tools they have developed to handle the anxiety- each one unique.  Perspective.
"Hugga Me." "Take a deep breathe" These phrases I hear at least 30 times a day- or more. It can become cumbersome. When you are cooking dinner, changing a diaper or helping a 6 year with her homework (which by the way can be really confusing these days). Stopping to give a hug, make eye contact and take a deep breathe seems like a lot. Especially if it's the 25th time in the last 15 minutes. Robbie's therapist thinks it has become an OCD behavior just as much as a coping mechanism. But it is a strategy he has developed- with our help. At times he will also tell me he needs a squeeze. On the flip side sometimes he will tell me he does not want to be touched or does not want to talk. Progress!
Nighttime has always been a challenge in our home. Robbie will not sleep by himself. The routine goes- someone lays with him until he falls asleep. Then we leave to go to our own bed. A few hour later he will come find one of us- usually me. Many nights he'll say "Mommy I'm scared." My reply is and will always be the same  " I'm right here Robbie. I've got you."