What would you do?

Think of a time when you felt so anxious about a situation or person. A tough day at work. Too much homework to get through. A fight with your spouse. A truly horrible day. What would you do to make yourself feel better? Go for a run? Take a yoga class? Get lost in a great book? Meet your best friend for a glass of wine? What if you were a 7 year old with Autism?

Can you imagine feeling like spiders were crawling on your back? You could feel them but not see them to brush them off. You would wiggle and jump, probably squeal or make some strange noise. Now imagine you could not communicate what was going on.

Robbie has been talking about spiders. Sometimes they are in reference to his latest movie obsession- Cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2- "Cheese spider" but sometimes , according to him, they are on his back. The other day he was very uncomfortable and while telling me about the "spider" on his back asked me to scratch it. I did as requested and then he put my arm around him and squeezed tight. As quickly as the situation had began, it was over. It made wonder how many times in a day he experiences that amount of distress? How many years had he been troubled by this without the ability to communicate? Makes me sad to think about, and relieved we are at a point where he can explain his distress- at least a little.

I recently shared a blog on my facebook page written by a 13 year old girl with autism. She was blogging about a situation she observed. A boy of similar age, who was nonverbal, was in gym class. He made his way for the door to escape the overwhelming noise, activity, smell, sights, feelings, etc. The teacher and aid restrained him. They had to. That is their job. To keep him "safe."  They were boasting about how they got him just in time. Feeling proud of their jobs. To me- that makes perfect sense. Once again, they were just trying to keep him safe. However, from this girl's perspective, all he was trying to do was get to a safe place. A place where he could breathe. Where things were quiet. Amazing. Everyone had the same end goal but because this boy could not communicate, it was not met.

I write about that situation as I am continually trying to assess what Robbie needs. Not what he wants- candy and movies - but what he needs to function at his highest potential. To be the best, and most comfortable, Robbie. Thankfully things are getting easier. We are fortunate. But we will always need to reassess situations and environments, as all parents do.  Next week we meet for our 3 year IEP meeting to discuss re- evaluations. To decide what tests should be retaken and where his placement will be. I am hoping there will not be a fight to keep him in his current classroom,  since it is out of district. Fingers crossed. We are prepared. We are his voice. He is our heart.