He kissed a girl

Here is the question. Is it harder or easier for someone who has an obvious disability than those whose disability is not so apparent? For those with down syndrome there are specific unique characteristics. For those who are in a wheel chair, it is obvious because of how they get around. For someone who is blind, many times they have a walking stick to ensure they do not trip. I ask this partly because of a conversation I had with my 5 year old. There are two boys with down syndrome in her class. She told me that even though they have their own "teachers" everyone in the class helps them when they need assistance.  If you saw someone in a wheelchair and there was not an electric door, wouldn't you open it? If a blind person was going to trip over an object wouldn't you help to ensure their safety? What about someone with Autism? Most of the time you can't tell by looking at someone if they are on the spectrum. I remember someone saying to me " what a shame, Robbie is so good looking." To mean the good looks would be wasted on someone with Autism.
The question is , is it a benefit or a drawback and when does it begin to become one or the other?
Robbie kissed a girl. On the forehead. After they shared a moment discussing what was on his Ipad. It was a friend of  Lexi's who he has interacted with before and who has always been very nice to him. She thought the kiss was great. (Once again, on the forehead.) It showed her that he liked her. She is 5 or 6, so still young enough not to see all the differences in Robbie.  After all, he is almost 8, a cool older brother and very cute! (Says proud mama)  I joked about the future as Robbie put his arm around the mother of this girl ,to show her his Ipad, that he was "buttering her up" to be his future mother in law. All jokes aside this could be a sign of his ability to form relationships in his future. I am happy that he has shown interest in the opposite sex and is aware there are differences. Our home ABA therapist explained that many of the 5th graders she deals with are unable to make the distinction. This causes a lot of issues for them as they go through that horrible stage of growth named Puberty, UGH! Of course there is work to be done as well. His home therapist is going to bring social stories for Robbie to read. These are visual images of life events and situations.  Who can forget the social story called "pooping in the potty." This is poop. Poop goes in the toilet. Poop does not go in your pants. etc, with visuals, really pictures of actual poop in the potty. Sounds funny but necessary. The differences in friendship between girls and boys- age appropriate of course. Should be an interesting read!!

We had Robbie's IEP meeting today and one of his ongoing struggles are with "popcorn words."  Words like THE, AND, A  , etc because there are no visuals used with these words.  For Apple- you can show a picture of an apple. He also struggles with concentration and stimming behaviors. He has a hard time sitting for any length of time and is given many sensory breaks throughout the day. Regression is another big one. By the end of the week many skills are "mastered" but the following Monday just as many are lost. It's like losing 5 pounds over the course of the week only to gain back 3 over the weekend.  So we start again. Robbie is able to walk to the bathroom and back by himself- a huge win but still has a one to one aid in the classroom- as all his classmates do. Yes, Robbie is making progress. He is moving forward but with a lot of help and support. Nowhere near a mainstream environment. Not even a MD (multiply disabled) or LD (learning disabled) environment. He is in a self contained Applied behavior analysis (ABA) based Autism classroom. And that is where he belongs. I make the point because the suggestion of Robbie returning to our home district was brought up today. We know it is not the right place for Robbie.
Back to my original question. Is it easier or more difficult to look like an average Joe? In my opinion , for now, it is better for Robbie that their is no distinct look of autism. While it may be hard for parents, when their children just look as if they are undisciplined , the children of Autism get a fair shot. Maybe they even get to be the cool older brother and kiss the girl. For now., I'll take it :)