I Love Medford Lakes- mostly..........

Nine years ago , as a newly married couple, Rob and I searched for the perfect spot to raise a family. We came across the community where we now live and fell in love. I remember being so excited at the thought of my children riding their bikes to school. To be able to go to the many lakes to swim and canoe. To attend camp in the summer. To be a part of a small community- so similar to a place I had spent my summers as a child and so dissimilar to the city where I had grown up. Fast forward nine years. We have three beautiful children. One is in the school system and we have been happy with her experience. One is an infant and I hope he will have a similar experience. However our first born is almost eight years old and has been out of district for 4 of those years. His name is Robbie and he has moderate autism. His preschool experience in Medford Lakes was frustrating as we - parents and teachers (whom we loved) determined this was not an environment where he could thrive- or even learn. He was put in the back of the classroom- with a small divider on his desk. With the 15 + other preschoolers going through their agenda, he was expected to follow his own with the help of an aide. It was ineffective, for everyone. For the past four years Robbie has been placed out of district in a self contained ABA based autism classroom. He has an aide- as do all his classmates. His teacher is ABA certified. He receives individual speech and individual occupational therapy two times weekly. He has a behavior plan. His class goes on monthly field trips focusing on life skills. He attends social skills sessions weekly after school. He has made a "friend" or two. I use the term loosely because the interactions between those with moderate autism is markedly different than those that are neuro-typical. More importantly, this wonderful teacher he has, and the program, with wonderful aides, he is in, KNOW Robbie. Outside the world of the IEP- Individual Education Plan- he is cared for. They know that he needs many sensory breaks throughout the day. They know that he will be more productive if they let him jump or swing in the sensory room first thing in the morning. They appreciate his humor. They know he needs multiple prompts to complete just about any task. They know he will try to avoid doing his work when a substitute comes into the room by saying "I am sad, or Hug a me." (He is really cute, after all.) They have done this before with other children on the spectrum. They have a program. Rob and I were not shocked when the case worker from Medford Lakes told us the district wanted to "explore the idea" of Robbie returning for his education. She discussed how trust had been an issue previously as we battled to get him into an appropriate program and she understands we may have concerns. When we asked if she was getting pressure from the new superintendent to bring back the students who were placed out of district- she looked us in the eye and said "No, we just want him to be part of the community." Rob and I were shocked however, when he called the superintendent and asked him the same question- only to get a different response. "Yes"- he said. I am going to bring back some students- namely a student- Robbie. He had asked our case worker- who has appeared at 2 meetings to hear about Robbie's progress in the last 2 years- which student she thought had the best potential to bring back. She said "Robbie." So again-trust is an issue. When Rob stated the obvious- there is no current program for Robbie, the superintendent discussed a MD (Multiply Disabled)classroom. This would be a good fit for 99% of the special needs students in the district. What about the 1%? Our 1%? What about Robbie? He can not be the guinea pig for the districts new program. He would be the only student with moderate autism in the classroom. There would be way too many distractions for him to focus. Focus is a huge issue for Robbie. As is regression. Two of the well documented BIGGEST issues for those with autism are FOCUS and REGRESSION. We see regression every summer, every spring break, every long weekend- and even from the end of the school day Friday to Monday morning. Yet- right now Robbie is in a program with a record of success. How would our son fair in a program being thrown together because this is the new superintendents' initiative. We know money is an issue as well. Budgets are limited. What is the price of a child with Autism?
 Again, I love Medford Lakes. We have a child in the school system. I applaud them for putting a program together for the 99% of special needs students. However, Robbie will not thrive here. He will not be able to learn to his potential here. Not yet, anyway. It would be DETRIMENTAL to his development. There is no way to put a price tag on that. More evidence that our case manager does not understand Robbie at all was her comment about "being a part of the community." Robbie is a part of the community. We live here. People know him. He frequents the lake to swim and play in the sand- with us. However he will not play on the sports teams here. He hasn't even successfully completed a season on a special needs team. He will not go to camp here. He needs extensive ESY- extended school year or summer school, and can't ride a bike or be on his own for any extended period of time like the other campers. As quoted by our case manager when Robbie left the district, "The Medford Lakes schools are a great place for the AVERAGE child. However if they are gifted or special needs, it's really not the right place." (Yes- still the same case manager.)
As Robbie runs into my room in the early morning hours to say "Mommy, I'm scared. Hug a me." I almost say "I'm scared too." But instead I say a phrase, if you're around us you'll hear me say often. "I will always hug you. I will always kiss you. I will always love you." And I squeeze him tight. Because that is what he needs. SO now, we prepare for a fight.