You've come a long way baby! Or have you?...................

While leaving our favorite* (and only shoe store for Robbie) I was patting myself on the back for how calm I remained during our visit.  After picking Robbie up from his after school social skills class, handing him his favorite snack (a way to keep him calm and happy) I explained that we were going to get him new shoes. Robbie has 1 pair of shoes. Sneakers. They are getting worn and I wanted to ensure his feet had not grown much since the fall- as he has certainly grown in height.  "No shoes" he yelled. "I don't want shoes." Of course his 5 year old sister chimed in- "I'll get shoes, Mommy." She has more shoes than I do.
I proceeded to drive to Olly- our shoe store of choice. Robbie immediately yelled once we were in the parking lot- "no shoes, I don't want new shoes."  I ignored the yelling and calmly parked the car. Once I had everyone out and baby in tow we began to walk towards the store. Robbie stopped twice, yelled no and I continued to walk- of course checking for on coming traffic. He followed and into the store we went. "No shoes mommy" as we entered the store. I searched the store for the familiar face that seems always to be there. The same saleswoman who has helped us for the last 3 years. Sees me, hears Robbie and knows the drill. We go back to the train, where feet are measured. Robbie, still under protest, takes off his shoes and puts his feet on the screen to be measured, while yelling "No!" Of course the computer is giving her problems, which she calmly works through. After discussing whether of not we should try to move Robbie to the other train, where Lexi had just gotten her feet measured and the computer was working,  I made the decision  to keep him where he was. I explained in my familiar mildly sarcastic but all too true voice- this is where Robbie gets his feet measured. He always goes to the same train station, there is no other. She smiles and gets what I am saying. Takes the measurement without saving our information to the system. Amazingly, his feet have not grown. She then asks what type of shoes I am looking for. Laces or Velcro, particular color, etc. I ask Robbie what he would like, trying to show him really cool bright blue shoes with laces. "No shoes. I don't want shoes. My shoes. You can't have my shoes" as he puts his old shoes back on his feet. Then, I understand his anxiety. He likes his shoes. They are his. He is afraid they will be taken and he will be given some new, different shoes, that are not his.  I look at the sales women and say- "you know the drill, same shoes." She adds- " just a half size bigger." And then of course Lexi begs for new shoes as well. Sparkly new shoes. How can I say no. The sales women takes the two boxes to the register. Lexi asks who the other box is for- knowing full well they are Robbie's shoes. I explain to her- she knows who's shoes they are and please keep it to yourself to avoid a meltdown. Robbie is still saying "no shoes" but at least not yelling it.
Our purchase is rung up. She takes my expired coupon and enters in my rewards number, saving me $20 from the $100 purchase. Hands me the bags, looks me in the eye to say thank you. A look that does not show pity or frustration, just thanks for the business and understanding.
As I go over this interaction in my mind I realize- it is not me that deserves a pat on the back- but her. For the past 3 plus years she has helped make a difficult situation, a little less difficult. There was a time when Robbie stepped in tar at school and ruined his shoes. I called the store to ask them to hold a pair of the same shoes for him. To my dismay, they were discontinued. This woman found a pair so similar, Robbie did not fall to pieces when I gave them to him. It's these small acts of kindness that help.
I want to thank those who do see us- Parents of special needs children- for who we are. Just parents with a little more on our plates than most. Thank you for making what is an easy situation for most- easier for us, for me, for Robbie. I am a loyal customer because of you!