Some days take less- but most take more- Some days are better than others

 Some days are better than others- as they say. Other days the weight of  life seems suffocating.  Autism, Lung cancer, Parkinson's, Teenage drama, Preteen emotions, Divorce, Family vacations, being a good maid of honor for the upcoming wedding, getting the job done for the work you love, and  (gulp)dating at 50 - all the things. Finding balance is tough for all- and finding balance for a teenager with Autism is especially difficult.   Robbie has basic needs- like we all do-  but his need immediate attention- or there are consequences.

He needs to take his medications - Abilify and Prozac each morning- and Clonidine each evening.        He needs to eat  meals- because if he gets "hangry" - that place where he's so hungry he is angry            about it-  heads will roll                                                                                                                              He needs his sleep. But some nights- no matter what we do- it doesn't happen.                                        He needs physical output. It can be challenging to get him moving at times, but like all of us- he            feels better after he does it.                                                                                                                          He needs touch- hugs, multiple times a day- " Just gently" but no kisses- even on the cheek.                    He needs to feel needed- he's going to save his "Gamparents" as we call my parents Gama and              Gampa. He wants to be the " hero."                                                                                                              He needs his " alone time"- where he can watch movies and get lost inside of them. 

The tough part of all these - is the balance of it all. Life is always changing and moving.  If there is no balance he may get angry and sometime violent. At over 6 feet tall and 240 pounds- this can be...... problematic.   Some weeks are fine- and this behavior doesn't show itself. Those are the best weeks.  Yet- how does one balance the needs of an autistic teenager, female teenager, preteen- while working full time in a challenging career, doing the best to care for your parents from 300 miles away - and regretting the decision that moved you so far away, supporting your sister with your maid of honor duties, being present for your friends, navigating the world of dating at age 50 - And  damn -the extra pounds stress, age and menopause causes!  UGH- if anyone figures it out- let me know! Some days are just better than others. For now-  it is  writing blogs, listening to music and leaning on the friends and family I love! Thank you :)

"Some days are dry, some days are leaky. Some days come clean, other days are sneaky. Some days take less but most take more. Some slip through your fingers and onto the floor.  Some days you're quick but most days you're speedy. Some days you use more force than is necessary. Some days it all adds up and what you've got is enough. Some days are better than others. 

Some days are slippery, other days sloppy. Some days you can't stand the sight of a puppy.  Your skin ins white, but you think you're a brother. Some days are better than others. 

Some days you wake up with her complaining , Some sunny days you wish it was raining. Some days are sulky, some have a grin. And some days have bouncers that won't let you in. Some days you hear a voice taking you to another place. Some days are better than others.

Some days are honest, some are not. Some days you're thankful for what you've got. Some days you wake up in the  army. Some days are work, most days you're lazy. Some days you feel like a bit of a baby. Lookin for Jesus and his mother. Some days are better than others.

Some days you hear a voice - taking you to another place. Some days are better than others."

U2- Zooropa