A new year........

Here we are beginning a new school year. Many things have stayed the same. Transitioning from crocs and flip flops to sneakers has always been a struggle. While we have figured out what needs to be done- it is still difficult. We start about two weeks before school talking about sneakers. We ask Robbie to wear them. His response is a shrieking "no", running away, kicking and biting as you try to put the shoes on his feet. He will take them off a number of times and be as difficult as possible. We go through this drill ( or really Dad does as Robbie has gotten too big for me to physically manage) about three times and then it's over. He puts the sneakers on without incident. It will be a similar experience when he has to wear warmer clothes. Knowing what it will take does make it a little easier- but I can't lie- It's still extremely stressful. Robbie is in the same classroom- a self contained room with 8 other boys- all of whom have Autism. Additionally 5 aids, 1 teacher, speech therapy, occupational therapy.......etc. The kids range from kindergarten to 3rd grade. (Robbie is considered 2nd grade) Last night was back to school night and I learned a few things. My son can read! That was something I did not know and his teacher seemed surprised. He is excelling at math. That I did know. He has a group of friends that he is really interacting with. I am happy to hear that!!! While looking at the pictures of 8 smiling faces I noticed a change in the students from the prior year. One student who had been in the class the last 3 years was gone and another who had been in a different classroom took his place. The little boy that left was mainstreamed into first grade- with an aid. The little boy who is an addition to the class is completely non verbal and communicates with a device. I cried on the way home. Why? While I am so happy for the family of the boy who is mainstreamed, I am jealous. While I adore the little boy and his family , who was added to the class I am concerned about adding an additional nonverbal child to the mix. I am hoping to push Robbie this year. I am hoping other kids will push him to communicate more. I know he is not ready to be mainstreamed and have been told he never will be. And still, every year I hope and pray this will be the year. The year that he magically speaks in full articulate sentences that are meaningful and show his personality. The year that the autism will be gone. Yes I said it. And I know better. So that being said , hopefully some things will change..... or progress is a better word. I spoke with his teacher about helping Robbie be more engaged in our dinner conversations as a family. We always ask everyone what the best part of their day was. Everyone has a turn to explain. Lexi loves this, especially now that she is in kindergarten. Robbie struggles but seems to want to contribute to this family ritual. His teacher is sending home a paper with pictures of different activities he had completed through out the day. This will hopefully make it possible for Robbie to engage in the conversation. I mentioned to her- my biggest wish for Robbie is for him to have the ability to tell us about his day. What he did, who he played with, what he didn't like, etc. We will see how it works- fingers crossed!!