Our new addition ...Timothy

On July 27th we welcomed our newest addition- Timothy Joseph Hummel. He is beautiful ( says proud Mama!) While I am loving this perfect little baby, I feel a pit in my stomach. What if..... TJ was not a "planned " pregnancy. The reason we had decided not to have more children was because of the fear of Autism. I was tested for every possible outcome available while pregnant- downs syndrome, spinal cord issues, diabetes, and anything else they could test for. The only one I am really scared about is Autism- for which there is no test. Rob and I have had the genetic testing- we have no markers, neither does Robbie. Otherwise- there is no way to predict Autism- except to wait and see. The reality is Autism rates and higher in boys than girls and higher in families who already have an autistic child. As we look at this little boy it's hard not to see Robbie as an infant. They are brothers after all and TJ looks a lot like his brother did at this age. TJ also moves a lot. He moved in the womb and our pediatrician mentioned he moves a lot for his age now.( 2 weeks on Saturday) Many parents may think- that must mean he'll be a great athlete!! I can't seem to let my mind go in that direction- because it did once before. You have so many hopes and dreams for your children but when you receive the autism diagnosis- all those dreams of college scholarships, weddings, athletic achievements are taken from you. So , I am scared. My husband is scared. Our families are quietly scared. I have switched pediatricians' after becoming exhausted by the immunization debate. TJ will get some shots- but we are staggering them and some we are forgoing completely. We had Lexi on a similar schedule as well. And for those who ask- what about school? If you have a note stating - for religious reasons- your child has not been immunized, they are able to attend school. I am breast feeding- to the best of my ability. I will start him on organic foods when possible. Otherwise things are out of my hands. I am trying my best to be hopeful- so I don't fall apart completely and I keep thinking- "God only gives you what you can handle" Right?..............