Doctors and Dentists

The reality of Autism is even when gains are made- and they feel really big- they can seem small in the big picture. While Robbie has made gains in communication and language, there are still areas that we struggle in. While at the pediatrician this week I was told Robbie is physcially in great shape- but he stressed physcially. At 7 years old Robbie can not "read" the eye chart- or stand still long enough to follow the directions. He will not allow anyone to take his blood pressure- even though at every appointment (Neurologist, Gastroenterologist, pediatrician) someone tries. To give a shot he needs at least 2 people to hold him down, as he will kick and scream. He does not really have friends. That was a question I was surprised to be asked and sad to answer. Of all the doctors appointments- the dentist is the worst. Yes- no one likes the dentist but for most neurotypical children it is not that bad. Lexi will sit and allow them to clean her teeth knowing she'll get a new princess toothbrush and a toy at the end. Robbie screams and runs.(And his dentist is wonderful with him, as wonderful as she can be) She is patient and quick. This morning we had an emergency trip to the dentist due to a toothache he had been complaining about for 3 days. This morning was the worst. He tried to open the car door while driving, was kicking the seat and crying for his blankie and bear. It was difficult to calm him down. Once at the dentist he cried in the parking lot but seemed ok once he saw the toys in the waiting room. Then- it was our turn to go back. He followed the nurse- for about 2 seconds and then screamed and ran. ( The poor children in the waiting room) It took about 10 minutes of maneuvering from myself, the dentist and nurse to get Robbie in a room. I agreed that holding him tightly was the only way the dentist could get a peek at his teeth. Long story short, at least 1 cavity, 6 year molars coming in and a few other dental issues. Robbie will need to go to the hospital operating room and be put under anesthia for them to work on his teeth. I started crying. Partly because I am very pregnant and full of hormones, but mostly because of a situation that happened a few years ago. When Robbie was first diagnosed I worked in medical device. One of the hospitals I spent a lot of time at had a dental suite in the OR. I remember seeing patients wheeled in who were very unhappy and obviously special needs adults. The oral surgeon at the time very nonchalantly said most were autistic and my child would probably have to be put under for dental work as well. It was a tramatic time and a difficult thing to hear. Now - here we are and all I could think of was those patients- who seemed so much more severe than my son could possibly be. But- maybe not. The dentist misunderstood my tears and thought I had reservations about putting him under for dental work. I explained I know that is we need to do- it just makes me sad. It makes me sad that my son will need to go to the hosptial for dental work. It makes me sad my son does not have friends. It makes me sad my son still has a hard time communicating and it makes me sad that sometimes watching my son stimm and jerk and script movies cause people to stare or worse ignore him altogether. Sorry for such a depressing post- but some days Autism just makes me feel sad.