My " Soccer Monster"- or not

Robbie began his first day of soccer today. The group was made up of 6 children ages 3-5 years old. I spoke with the coach a few times prior to today. He seemed slightly uneasy but ok with having an autistic child in the program. I didn't really have a goal in mind before today- I just wanted to see how he handled the situation. I prepared him as best I could- explaining he was going to be a " soccer monster" today just like one his favorite Backyardigans episodes. I tired him and his sister out early at the lake so they would both nap and be refreshed prior to the 5 pm soccer lesson. As I pulled up to the park where the soccer was being held I knew my "preparation" would not have helped. The soccer is taking place in a small park with playground equipment and swings immediately in the vicinity. My friend who had mentioned soccer to me because her 4 year old really enjoyed it last year was also put off by the location. She mentioned that the playground was a definite distraction and last year it was held in an open field.
I watched all the children- with the exception of mine- follow every direction that was given. " sit on the ball like a chicken"- hands behind your back and kick the ball- drills- etc. The coach was clearly uncomfortable with my son. His assistant made a more valiant effort and I explained " My son is Autistic' - which I swear I will have tattooed to my body- ( sorry mom - but I will) and he may not answer to his name right away. If you get directly in his face and force eye contact he will respond. She said thank you for telling me. I was angry that the coach hadn't let her know. Robbie spent the majority of the soccer lesson on the swings- where he feels most comfortable. The coach did invite him in a few times but Robbie was adamant about what he wanted. The coach had told me prior to the class he would refund my money if it didn't work out. At the end of the class he mentioned that he thought I would call him for a refund.

This is what I Know- Robbie sat on the ball " like a chicken sits on an egg"- a few minutes after he was asked to and all the kids where already sitting. The coach gave Robbie a sticker with his name on it and asked him to put it on the front of his shirt. He did it- upside down- but he did it. 2 weeks ago at Robbie's class field trip the sticker with the name tag was a battle. 3 times- finally on his back so he didn't notice. These are small steps- but steps!!
My new goals for Robbie--- He will high five the coach when asked. He will participate in 1 drill. He will watch a portion of the time. The rest is up to him and really for him. If he wants to be on the swings 75% of the time- I'm ok with that. My husband and I had a discussion about this program a few weeks ago. His fear is that Robbie is not ready. I don't disagree with that. My fear is if we don't push him into situations that are tough he'll never be ready. It has taken months for Robbie to sit at circle time in his preschool class- but now he does it. As I told the coach- everything you teach to the other kids will take twice as long for Robbie to pick up. What I really need to tell him is- it's ok if he never picks up most of what you say. I want him to feel comfortable in a new environment and participate a fraction of the time. It he feels ok by the end of the season- next year he may truly benefit from it again. And if not- so what- we tried!!

The most challenging part of this experience is the coach and some of the other parents- ( with the exception of my friend who has been so helpful in these situations- Thank you Kelly if you read this!) They can see Robbie is different from the other kids and are not sure how to respond to him. I feel like I have a duty. My son is autistic- smart, funny, loving, athletic and beautiful- but still autistic. The way he is handled needs to be a little different. The number of diagnosed on the autism spectrum increases every day. 1 in 110 nationally- 1 in 94 in NJ- 1 in 54 in boys versus girls. What is going on? Someone PLEASE find a cure!!!!!!