The Drawbacks of Autism

I recently posted regarding the "benefits " of autism.  Here is the other side of the coin. After having a great day with Robbie at Chuck E Cheese, when asked what his favorite game was, he could not answer. The entire ride to and from consisted of Robbie scripting Monsters, Inc. and Monsters University. This means running the movie lines through his head and repeating what he could. If there is a part he can not speak the actual words, he will make up a phrase and continue until he knows the language. When we came home Robbie could not describe his experience in any way to the rest of his family. When Lexi came home that day from going to the movies with Dad she gave me the complete run down of the entire movie.  I spoke to his home therapist and her response was " recall is tough for these kids. After the event is over recalling specifics tends not to happen because- the event is over. He may not be able to recall events until he is a teenager."
Additionally while at Chuck E Cheese there was a bit of stimming behavior. Rob became obsessed with a Jurassic Park game. "Dinosaur game, Dinosaur game, Dinosaur game"  and then the jumping up and down, mild flapping and "EEEEEEE." There were other kids playing the dinosaur game at the time and one little girl- slightly younger than Robbie just stared at him. I don't think he noticed, but it made me sad for things to come.

Another challenge is never knowing what his behavior will like. If I expect he'll be fine in a situation, many times he is not and vice versa.  A friend of ours was having a large party a few months ago. I expressed concern over the amount of people, not knowing most of them and the lack of escape routes. ( The party was over an hour away.) He'll be fine , was her response.  I know that was meant to put me at ease- but the reality is he may not have been fine...............or he could have been.  Again I know many parents experience the same struggles with neuro-typical kids- however I believe the melt downs and "bad" behavior for those on the spectrum is more severe. I also know we as a family need to be more brave and challenge ourselves to be in these situations. However sometimes we just don't have the energy and want to stay home.

Behavior modification is also different. Robbie's teacher is out for the week and had put a behavior plan in his clip board. His home therapist brought it to my attention by asking if Robbie had displayed bad behaviors at school? While there have a few bad days , for the most part he has come home with good reports. Good was circled. That means he was good, right? I began to wonder if the standard of behavior is slightly different for those with Autism. My kindergartner gets a blue star for "good" behavior and the stars change color as bad behavior escalates. However for her, bad behavior is talking while the teacher is talking. (I am not making light of that, you should NOT talk over your teacher.)  For Robbie, bad behavior was defined as" rude, nasty or aggressive." Telling the teacher to leave, or repeating what they are saying. The standards seem a little different- because they have to be. Teachers and aids in Robbie's classroom  (kindergarten through grade 4) are regularly taught how to contain a child. I doubt that strategy is used very often in Lexi's kindergarten class.

I guess my point is this, things are just different. I hope that is not used as an excuse for bad behavior however I hope it is used for understanding in certain situations. So if you see a child jumping up and down, flapping, saying "EEEEEEE", don't be alarmed. Smile. Smile at that child and please smile at that child's parents. They really do appreciate it.:)