Dad is losing it...

Well I'm officially losing it. Robbie has been doing well at school but at home is "stimming" like crazy. His "eeee" chanting is getting increasingly worse and we are noticing a new behavior coming to light. He holds his right hand in the air when he is supposed to be relaxing and getting ready for bed. He also does it anytime he is sitting or laying down. He holds it almost straight up in the air, even when he is at the dinner table.

I am blogging because I'm getting scared and I thought this would help. What the hell am I supposed to do? Why is this happening? Can I help him?????

When we first found out he "IS" autistic I was a mess. Crying on the outside even when I was at work. Lately I have been keeping it all inside and dealing with it. So I thought. Today, I feel helpless. I know my wife is upset but there is nothing I can say or do that will help her. There is NOTHING I can do to make it go away. The days I don't cry on the outside I am crying on the inside. I work in a school and a lot of great people talk to me on a daily basis about my son. They are all awesome people and I thank them for caring....BUT I don't think I can talk about it anymore.....or at least for a few days.

My poor daughter Lexi....she is awesome! Am I neglecting her because of all of the time I focus on Robbie? She needs my love too. I/we are trying to make sure that she gets all the attention and love a one year old needs. God she's a tank....and funny as hell!

Wow, I really am a mess....positives.....He says "I love you dad." He is really close to having a conversation with us. I hope that happens before he is four.

I don't know how to sign off on this pitty party so I'll just say thank you to all of you that have helped us through this so far. Peace and on to another day! I know I should be watching the Phillies but man they suck right now...could really care less.