Problem solving....

 Problem solving is the process of finding solutions to difficult or complex issues. Problem solving can also be finding a solution to the most basic issue of need. One of the things I am most impressed about with Robbie is his ability to solve his own problems. This could mean simply - bringing his laundry downstairs, so his mom can wash it.  Or making himself a snack or even a meal. As of late he has an obsession with socks. He loves socks that have candy listed on them- his favorite being the Skittles socks he was given last year. They have become thin at the toes from constant wear and on occasion a small hole develops. Over the summer he would ask me to sew them for him. He would sit patiently by my side observing the steps and ensuring I did a good enough job. This week he had a small hole in his Twizzlers socks. He had asked for me to sew them but I had not gotten the opportunity to do so. Early Saturday morning I came down to the kitchen to make coffee and discovered Robbie  with our small sewing kit. He had matched the appropriate color- red and had the needle. At first glance it appeared he had threaded the needle and tied the knot at the end. After inspecting it I noticed he had tied a knot at the base of the needle. When I asked him why- he explained he could not get the thread through the tiny hole at the top of the needle. I was incredibly impressed- Why you might ask?  Robbie did not wake me up to help him. He found the materials he needed and tried his best to solve the problem. While he couldn't thread the needle on his own- he came up with another solution on how to address the problem. I ended up threading the needle and he sewed the sock on his own. He wanted to do it- and he did a better job than I would have!   This many seem like a trivial event but when my 8 year old cried that the socks he had didn't match. My response was- how do you solve that problem-? He was stumped. I explained- go to your sock drawer and find a match- that's what your brother- who has autism by the way- would do :) 

The Importance of Friends

High school is a completely new world- especially coming from a very small middle school. The initial decision was for Robbie to go to the high school where his Dad was a teacher- not the local high school- where his friends would be going..  They have a fantastic Autism program. He would go with his Dad - as there wouldn't be transportation.  The hope was- he would flourish- be happy and make new friends. The reality was- he said he hated it- every single day. He missed his friends. It was too big and unfamiliar.  His teacher was amazing- I know her personally - but he would say how he hated everything about that school. I won't get specific - because the comments were ugly and out of frustration and missing all things that made him comfortable.  He wanted to go to the blue school- not the red one. The one where the people he knew were going.  The fact that  his parents are going through a divorce and living separately does not help matters either.   So-......after months of him verbalizing his frustration- and a few other events in between- the transfer took place.

The bus picks him up in the morning- with 2 of his friends. He is in the blue school - as he requested. He no longer complains. He goes to school - happily.  He comes home content. He gets himself up and ready in the morning- without me having to plead or monitor whether his shoes are on. He's ready, he's happy, he is where he needs to be.  The importance of relationships- for most people is so obvious. How it was over looked for Robbie- really sticks with me. He doesn't need a lot of social time. He has his friends over twice a year.  The annual birthday party and more recently around Halloween.  They come to the house, eat pizza, watch a few minutes of a movie, have cake and go home.  That's all he wants and that's all he needs- but he does need it. To be connected to people. To have friends.

The best comment I've gotten so far is the following- as it makes my heart happy and is an appropriate statement for a 16 year old- " Mom- I love the blue school, my heart feels better-  but I hate all the work."