I am afraid- very afraid. My sweet baby boy ..... is showing signs of autism. The same signs that we missed with Robbie. The same signs that early intervention missed with Robbie. The same signs our pediatrician does not see.......yet? Believe me when I say, I pray I am wrong. Unfortunately my gut and my husbands says otherwise. What are the signs? I am going to try to post a link to an incredibly helpful autism program that shows the signs that are so often missed. I shed tears watching it, because I saw Robbie. So- here it is from the Hummel house. Timmy is a very happy, pleasant baby. His eye contact is good- says the pediatrician. The concerns are .... he moves a lot. His legs especially are going, going, going. He LOVES the jumpy swing that its in the doorway. His body gets tense very often. His focus gets lost. If I didn't know better I would think he was looking at me- my eyes- but really he is looking at my hair many times. It moves. He is affected by loud noises- very easily.. (Robbie was not/ is not affected by noise but it is a trait in many on the spectrum.)
Again, I hope and pray I am wrong. But fear that is not the case. The "correct" response to this challenge is to say " I know what I need to do" " Been there done that" and all of those responses are correct but here are a few others. "What happens when I am gone or too old to care for my special needs children?" " I don't want to put that ..... whatever you may call it.... on Lexi." My hope was , she would have a sibling to be with her through any tough decisions that needed to be made regarding Robbie when I am gone. And yes the truth is I know what steps to take if Timmy is on the spectrum but the reality is, those steps suck. The process sucks. The sense of loss sucks. The realization that the dreams you had for your child are probably not going to happen. Not the dreams of them playing professional sports, but the dreams of them having a productive happy life filled with friends and a family of their own.. Worst post ever during such a happy time of year..............definitely. And don't get me wrong. We are so excited for Christmas this year. 5 month. 5 years old and 7 years old are incredible ages for Santa. Believe me, it will be a magical year!! Pictures and videos for sure. And again I hope and pray we are wrong or over cautious but I fear we are not.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
Fullfilling potential...... and knowing when to laugh
Our biggest goal for Robbie- and all our kids- is to help them to reach their potential. Of course for a child on the spectrum this can be a little tricky. One aspect has been trying many sports or activities to see if any "stick." Soccer, (twice), gymnastics, swimming, scooter riding..........some things Robbie has enjoyed and others, well... not so much. One of the toughest aspects of any activity for Robbie has been focus.
Karate has been an idea I had toyed with, but never followed through. There is a special needs Karate class that meets Tuesdays at 6:30 in Marlton. The dilemma has been other commitments- speech, ABA or social skills at that time and /or the drive to marlton. ( It's not that far but at that time with other children it presents an additional challenge. )
I decided to give karate a shot locally, in a regular class and let the chips fall where they may. Robbie and I met with the instructor for a brief one on one session to see if he was even remotely interested. I showed him a few images online to prepare him and off we went. When Robbie walked into the facility his face lite up and he said "this is cool." The instructor showed him where to put his shoes and a few basic moves. Robbie was 100% engaged and followed every direction. He wanted to look at the weapons that hung on the wall. The instructor told him he would show him when he was done. The session was short but as we left, with Karate attire in hand, Robbie said "that was awesome." WHAT? Two full sentences. Complete engagement. A happy kid. What more could a parent ask for?
I knew going to a "real" class would present challenges, so our ABA therapist came with us. (Us being myself and all three kids- 4months, 5 years old and 7 year old Robbie. ) I also emailed the instructor let him know we'd be coming and voice some concern about the amount of students, noise, etc. When we arrived we watched the younger class finish up. Robbie was excited- jumping up and down. The room was crowded and I hoped it would clear out a bit for the next class. No such luck. Robbie changed into his karate attire and went on the floor with about 15 other kids. While he did his best to follow instruction, he was really lost. The group did jumping jacks. Robbie managed two before he went into full spin mode. Spinning in circles, mild flapping and saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. A very kind women sitting next to me leaned and said she three special needs children, all of whom took karate. My response was "can you tell?" with a laugh. The best part of the experience was the smile on Robbie's face. He did his best to follow the routine, pushing his aid aside. Clearly he wanted to be part of the class on his own. He got through about half of the class and said "all done. " He changed back into his clothes and we watched the remainder of the class.
That was the first and last class he has participated in, so far. We have gone a few more times as Lexi is now interested and participates. I think the environment was too overwhelming for my boy. Happily the owner agreed to do a few one on one sessions with Robbie to see if he can get him comfortable with the routine. I am very interested in seeing how it pans out.
Honestly I was feeling a little stressed out by the whole "class" scenario. I didn't want anyone to make fun of my son and I didn't want him to be a major distraction to the rest of the class. However, looking back at the video made me laugh. He is spinning, flapping, not following direction, but has a huge smile on his face the entire time. These are the situations that I have to laugh at. There will undoubtedly be a million more times like this, but sometime things will work out. Who knows- maybe it will be the next time!!Fingers crossed!!
Karate has been an idea I had toyed with, but never followed through. There is a special needs Karate class that meets Tuesdays at 6:30 in Marlton. The dilemma has been other commitments- speech, ABA or social skills at that time and /or the drive to marlton. ( It's not that far but at that time with other children it presents an additional challenge. )
I decided to give karate a shot locally, in a regular class and let the chips fall where they may. Robbie and I met with the instructor for a brief one on one session to see if he was even remotely interested. I showed him a few images online to prepare him and off we went. When Robbie walked into the facility his face lite up and he said "this is cool." The instructor showed him where to put his shoes and a few basic moves. Robbie was 100% engaged and followed every direction. He wanted to look at the weapons that hung on the wall. The instructor told him he would show him when he was done. The session was short but as we left, with Karate attire in hand, Robbie said "that was awesome." WHAT? Two full sentences. Complete engagement. A happy kid. What more could a parent ask for?
I knew going to a "real" class would present challenges, so our ABA therapist came with us. (Us being myself and all three kids- 4months, 5 years old and 7 year old Robbie. ) I also emailed the instructor let him know we'd be coming and voice some concern about the amount of students, noise, etc. When we arrived we watched the younger class finish up. Robbie was excited- jumping up and down. The room was crowded and I hoped it would clear out a bit for the next class. No such luck. Robbie changed into his karate attire and went on the floor with about 15 other kids. While he did his best to follow instruction, he was really lost. The group did jumping jacks. Robbie managed two before he went into full spin mode. Spinning in circles, mild flapping and saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. A very kind women sitting next to me leaned and said she three special needs children, all of whom took karate. My response was "can you tell?" with a laugh. The best part of the experience was the smile on Robbie's face. He did his best to follow the routine, pushing his aid aside. Clearly he wanted to be part of the class on his own. He got through about half of the class and said "all done. " He changed back into his clothes and we watched the remainder of the class.
That was the first and last class he has participated in, so far. We have gone a few more times as Lexi is now interested and participates. I think the environment was too overwhelming for my boy. Happily the owner agreed to do a few one on one sessions with Robbie to see if he can get him comfortable with the routine. I am very interested in seeing how it pans out.
Honestly I was feeling a little stressed out by the whole "class" scenario. I didn't want anyone to make fun of my son and I didn't want him to be a major distraction to the rest of the class. However, looking back at the video made me laugh. He is spinning, flapping, not following direction, but has a huge smile on his face the entire time. These are the situations that I have to laugh at. There will undoubtedly be a million more times like this, but sometime things will work out. Who knows- maybe it will be the next time!!Fingers crossed!!
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