Ageing- by definition is the process of being older,,,,,, Here is a tough one. Robbie has a thing .... about getting "old". He doesn't like grey hair- and will let me know when mine is showing- (Thanks Robbie - lol) In reality - it scares him. He watched some video years ago showing a boy getting grounded for naughty behavior. In this cartoon the boy is grounded for years. He ages- gets older and ends up dying - in his bedroom. This video clip was a bit jarring as the man passed in Robbie's favorite place- his bedroom.
For me personally- this is problematic on so many levels. First- I don't want my son to be afraid of getting older. Second- I work in Hospice- and I don't want anyone to fear death- as part of my job is to ease that fear. Third- and hardest to discuss- my mom has cancer. She's doing amazingly well-after a big scare- but as a family we talk about it.
While I have explained all these things to my children- especially Robbie- his comprehension is limited. He is a 6 foot tall, 240 pound 17 year old but mentally he functions at a much younger level. Robbie will draw picture after picture of his family as we all age. He specifically targets his grandparents- on both sides, his mom, his dad , and himself. He will draw the ageing process- and the gravestones for all. Since the divorce he places us all by birth family - as that's where we would be. I believe this is the way he is processing - as he says " the death and dying" as he doesn't have the exact words to say how he feels.
Grey hair can be covered (every 4-6 weeks) but we all get older and eventually we die. In simple terms - it is the circle of life but when it touches you - it can be so hard to articulate. Imagine you can't say the words? Thankfully he can draw the pictures- and I can always dye my hair :)
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